Did you try calling around to a few local credit unions instead of just the big banks? I got quoted the same junk fees on a cash out and a smaller CU in Roseville came back way lower with no extra points for the cash out part. Maybe it's just me but shopping it around saved me more than any haggling with my old lender did.

Ran into the same thing when a 280 pound guy wanted new wheels, and I quit guessing and just started calling the builders. Had good luck with a couple of custom wheel shops that gave me real spoke count and rim recs based on his weight and riding style. A chart gets you close, but a builder who does this daily will save you from overthinking the math.

Man, life's just one big lesson in doing things right the first time.