Something I read years ago in a Cook's Illustrated article said you can grate frozen butter on a box grater and it softens up in like 10 minutes once it hits the sugar. Never tried it myself but it makes sense since more surface area means faster warming. The other thing I heard is you can cut the cold butter into small cubes and spread them on a plate, they hit room temp way faster than a whole stick. Doris sounds like she knows her stuff, that poke test is the real trick. Cold butter just smears around the bowl instead of getting fluffy, which is why your old cookies were flat and greasy.

Ever bomb a room so bad the free wine felt like pity?

That "20% rule" sounds a lot like the old food pyramid, something catchy that everyone repeated until it just felt true. I first heard it from a Scout leader in the 90s who swore by it, but after one trip with 20% of my weight in a heavy pack, my shoulders were the ones who called it off.