Skip the pellets, fire management is half the skill.

My big plan for the 2pm hearing was to just look very serious and say I had a dentist appointment, which works right up until someone asks which dentist. Honestly the move might be to call in and see if they let you speak by phone, since some cities do that now. Your mileage may vary on that one, but it beats burning a sick day.

Ugh, the cereal aisle thing would make me lose my mind. I mean, you're standing right there with the box in your hand and the price on the shelf is basically a lie unless your phone cooperates? That's not convenience, that's a trap. And the cashier acting like you did it wrong really gets me, because nobody tells you the rules until you're already at the register. Your $22 over 3 months point is a good one too, like that's barely gas money for all the hassle. Honestly your flip phone might be the smartest thing in this whole story.