Hardboard on top of my bench saved the top, not the other way around

That "wears out the top surface, not the structure underneath" line hit me hard too. I did the same thing, built this massive oak top thinking I was set for life, then realized I was just scared of dings. Swapped in a 1/4 inch hardboard skin about a year ago and honestly it's the best $14 I've spent in the shop. Now I sand the whole thing flush with a belt sander when it gets rough, flip it if I'm feeling lazy, and replace it when glue drips get too crusty. The oak underneath still looks brand new, and I don't panic every time I chisel near the edge. Sacrificial top all the way, I'm never going back to worrying about a pretty bench face.