Oh man, that's a good one. I read a thing once about how the same question can sound totally different. Like asking "Why would anyone do it that way?" sounds judgey, but "Can you help me understand how this works?" gets the same answer without putting someone on the spot. It's all in the tone, you know? Your brother might be onto something.
Nah, some questions are just dumb. Asking "what color is a fire truck" when you're looking right at it is a waste of everyone's time. The way you ask it doesn't change the fact you should already know.