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My brother called my volunteering 'just a hobby' and it pissed me off

Last week at a family dinner my older brother said I treat helping at the food bank like it's a side gig. He saw me packing bags for 3 hours every Saturday and called it a hobby. That hit different because he volunteers too, just at a different place. He said if I really cared I'd do what he does, which is sit on a board. But I told him I see the actual people. I know Mrs. Chen who comes every other week and the kid who asks for the same cereal. His kind of help is about meetings and paperwork. My kind is about handing someone a bag and saying have a good day. Has anyone else had a family member belittle how you help out?

2 comments

2 Comments

jamiekim1mo ago

Ha, guilty. I used to think board work was the real deal but you changed my mind.

jesse_nguyen1mo ago

oh jamiekim i totally get where you're coming from now because your brother is dead wrong. seeing people's faces and knowing their names is the whole point, that's not a hobby that's community. board work is fine for some folks but it's a different kind of help. i run the weekend breakfast shift at a shelter and i know exactly who likes extra syrup and who needs a quiet corner. that stuff matters more than any meeting. your brother sitting on a board doesn't make his help better than yours, it just makes his help different. keep showing up for Mrs. Chen and that kid, you're doing real work.